Skip to main content

Year Four, Day 146: The Upside

I survived!

Yesterday I woke up at 4:00 a.m., did my Qi Gong and hooping workout.  Then I dressed in red an black, and ordered a Lyft ride to Delta Park Transit Center. 

Yesterday was Pentecost. Traditionally in the Lutheran church and many Protestant churches, members of the congregation wear red.  Pentecost is the day that the Holy Spirit descended upon the apostles. They were all speaking in different languages, but could understand each other. It is considered the birthday of the Christian Church. 

My Lyft driver arrived at 5:05 a.m. A lovely man from Florida in a big, bright red Ford 250 king cab truck. I wasn't aware of the irony until I got on the Max.  He was driving a RED truck on Pentecost!  We had a wonderful conversation, starting with the weather and ending up talking about the mighty power of God and the wonders of creation and the universe!

It was a wonderful start to my day. And it was a glorious day indeed. Sunny, but not too hot. A gentle breeze. White, puffy clouds floating in a brilliant blue sky.

How can one not feel the power of God on a day like that?

I saw on the reader board the the Max was 5 minutes away. So I walked over to the guard rail and did some ballet stretches.

On the Max, I did some reading and checked my email. I arrived at my next stop as my transfer bus was pulling up!  I love when my commute is so easy. I feel a bit like Mr. Magoo, just blindly walking from one place to another.

I had a light breakfast and a cup of steamy hot black coffee, and then headed over to the little brick Lutheran church where was the guest pianist/ organist. Since I was early, it was just the pastor and I.  Who I adore. We chatted a bit. Then I went upstairs to practice the organ before the praise team arrived to rehearse.

The service was lovely. I actually wiped away several tears.  The pastor had one of the members toss bright red balloons down from the organ loft. Little children caught them and tossed them and ran about for the rest of the service.  She encouraged everyone to keep the balloons afloat. They signified the "Holy Spirit", she told us.

I was so moved thinking that we were celebrating a time in history at the beginning of the Church. A time of wonder and awe.  And I felt it deeply!

After church I headed out to meet my son for lunch.  We had a lovely, short visit. He confided in me some challenges in his life. I told him I am praying a Novena for him.  He looked puzzled. So I explained that a Novena is 9 days of intense prayers. A very ancient Christian practice.  The word "Novena" comes from a Latin word that literally means "9".

He gave me hug and thanked me.  I didn't have time to spend with him because yesterday was also my end of the year piano recital for my students. I had 28 kids playing.

I stopped at the Dollar Tree and picked up colored plates, napkins and tablecloths. The parents of my students have been trained to bring many treats for the reception following the recital. In fact, I think some of my students look forward to the treats even more than the recital!
As usual, as I sat with my students on stage, I was overcome with a feeling of deep awe. That I was responsible for teaching all of these remarkable young people.  I just sat there, feeling their musical expression in my soul. And tears of pride welled up.

After the recital, I spent time congratulating my students, chatting with parents and posing for pictures.  

After they left, my friend in the office told me there was another recital that evening, but they weren't due for another hour if I would like to practice on the Steinway. Would I!?
This was the perfect ending of a deeply gratifying day. I practiced the music for my last concert of the year coming up. I am accompanying the choir I have been with for over 20 years.  

It was so freeing to play on this beloved instrument, in the auditorium where I have spent so much time over the past 20 years. My children were quite young when I started working there. And now I have a granddaughter, and a grandson on the way!

I have taught many members of my own family. And so many children in Portland.  When I feel the blues come over me, and feel like I don't matter or that I am invisible, I need to remember this.  

I do matter.  And my love of music will live on through many, many people. Who hopefully will then pass it down to others.

I have created a legacy!

But it began long before me. My grandfather played the oboe. He was the leader of a band in the US Army in World War II. My father played the trumpet in the Air Force Band. He later taught me to play the piano when I was only 3.

And I have been exposing my granddaughter to music since she was 1 day old.  And I hope to teach my grandson. I will also be teaching my great niece this summer.

Yes, I do matter!
It is o.k. if sometimes I do not feel very important. Because I think humility is a tender gift from God.  You wouldn't want to know me if I was all puffed up! My humility gives me a strong work ethic, and a curious mind that is always learning.

Ok.  I am tooting my own horn now. And blushing. So I need to head out.

But I must mention that I needed to unwind last night. So I thought I would rent a light movie to relax to. Kevin Hart always makes me laugh. So I grabbed "The Upside" from a nearby Red Box.  

It was based on a true story. And it had moments of humor. But more than that, it showed what a brilliant actor Kevin Hart is. It was not slap stick. It was beautiful and had moments of deep profundity!
I highly recommend it! And the irony of the title of the movie just struck me! I do struggle with depression frequently, but there is always an upside that pulls me to the surface.
And I must bid you farewell.

I hope to report back tomorrow. More rested and happy!

Happy Monday!

Love,

Zita



P.S. Here is yesterday's hooping video.  Day 82!  Notice my piano scarf from a dear friend of mine I've known since kindergarten! 


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Year Four, Day 328: Success at Last!! This is What I Do

Hello My Long Lost Friends! Or, perhaps it was I who was lost? And now I think I am beginning to find myself!  Under layers of fat, and self loathing!  How's that for an opening line!  Or perhaps the title of a novel:  Layers of Fat and Self-Loathing! Today I stepped on the scale.  I am weighing myself every morning these days. I was shocked! I told my partner the scale must be broken!  Yesterday I weight 186. Today 185! I have been on a strict intermittent fast for the past 10 weeks. I have officially lost 12 pounds!  And the best news is I think I not only can stick to this way of eating, I am actually beginning to really enjoy it!  And look how far I've come! I've been writing since May 12, 2015.  Over 8 years now!  I know this blog post says Year Four, Day 328, but there have been many pauses in blogging. For instance, when I am not pleased with progress or simply have no words! I was 53 when I first began blogging. I am now 61. I honestly feel better than I did 8 years

Year Four, Day 335: "Crisis Fatigue"

Hello Friends! I have missed you! I have been so utterly exhausted and downright depressed, that I couldn't summon enough energy to even lift my fingers to this computer keyboard to write.  Apparently there is a mental disorder for people going through crises.  Crises such as pandemics, systemic racism, political division, unemployment, police brutality, civil unrest.... It's called "crisis fatigue". When humans are presented with a threat, adrenaline is released to give us quick energy. This is called the "fight or flight syndrome". But when threats are overwhelming, and perceivably continuous, like this year, it overwhelms the system. People can feel numb, depressed, anxious and irritable. Yup. That's me.  I guess I'm quite normal after all! I found an interesting article that describes crisis fatigue, especially in relation to current events.  But it doesn't really address how to take care of ourselves during these unsettling times!

Year Two, Day 313: Most Excited Am I!

I almost started today's blog with my standard, "Most tired am I" And I am. So tired. And ready for spring.  But tonight when I got home, my wonderful housemate told me that I had a package waiting for me on the counter.  So I ran in and found the book I had been waiting for: Open Mind, Open Heart , by Thomas Keating. Most excited am I! I put a bag of popcorn in the microwave, filled my water and was heading downstairs to open my new book - but I had to detour around the cat who had just killed and attempted to eat a spider. Good kitty! :) I ordered this book the day that I was inspired to turn my introversion into a positive. To use it as a stepping stone to a deeper relationship with God. To go up to the next level in my spiritual path. Thomas Keating is known as "The leader within the Catholic world in the task of recovering our Christian contemplative heritage" Ewert H. Cousins, General Editor, "World Spirituality, An Encyclopedic Hist