Day 15: Am I Obsessed?

Losing my extra chins is a very nice side effect of my exercise program!

Yesterday I spent several hours with my daughter.  She was home from work for Memorial Day.  I found myself distracted and cranky because I had planned on getting up, stretching, practising piano and then going for my run. I hadn't expected her to want to send the day with her mom! She needed help with a project.  I tried to fight my mood, because it was very selfish! This is my daughter who I love dearly!  Why was I thinking that I wish I was alone on the trail?  Had I become obsessed?

She noticed my mood and commented on how I did not seem to be enjoying life at the present moment.

I realized with a pang of guilt that I needed to remember that my running is to improve my health and quality of life, so that I have more to give to others! Especially my family.

My kids were raised by only me.  A very stressed out single mother. Trying to juggle more than one job, household tasks, duties of two parents in one. I am thankful they made it through childhood!  And while we are a close family, I have much guilt for not being there enough for them.

But I can change that now.  Now is all we have really.  And my daughter needed my help. So I got through my selfishness and spent the day with her. And I"m glad I did.

We ended up going for a run together later, and then out to lunch.

Today, I am gearing up for another run.  I took my measurements this morning. And I felt disappointed.  I wonder where my mind was all these years that I added so much weight onto my frame. When I was in my 20's my measurements were 36-24-36.  The perfect hour glass.  Not that this really matters!  I have always prided myself on seeing beyond the exterior. But when you see my current measurements, perhaps you will understand.  And these are my measurements today.  I haven't taken them in years, so I have no idea how big I had gotten.

Today's measurements:

Weight: 203
Neck: 15"
Chest: 47"
Upper Abs: 41"
Waist: 41"
Lower Abs: 49"
Hips: 48:
Thighs: 23" R, 22.5" L
Biceps: 14" R, 13.5" L

But I must say on a positive note, that I've notice my belly fat has changed since I've been running. I was more of an apple shape with all my fat in one big round ball. Now my upper abs have slimmed and I have a waist again! But that fat ball has moved down to my lower abs!

Anyway, I am feeling irritated.  But I have so much of life to live. I have people who need me. A wonderful job.  Good family and friends.  I have to keep my perspective here.

This is about my life's journey back to health.  So that I can give back.

On that note, I am off for my run!

Happy Tuesday!

:) Zita the Cranky

ps After my runs I usually have a MAJOR! positive attitude adjustment