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Year Two, Day 263: Faithfulness, Insomnia, and a Lovely Posole!

I felt a little off all day today.

Like I was walking through mud.  It probably didn't help that I had a bout of insomnia last night. Woke up with a start at 3:00 a.m. Heart pounding.  Feeling of impending doom.

So to console myself I grabbed my phone and logged onto Facebook.  Big mistake.  I got even more stressed out with all the political posts. Then I felt guilty, because this is not about me. Passions are flying high right now.  People are suffering.  Who am I to get stressed out?

I took some deep breaths. Played some Words with Friends.

I have a Facebook friend, "N", who lives in Greece. We have never met, but we've talked a lot over the years. He teaches classical guitar. He has on occasion attempted to teach me a bit of Greek too. It is a most difficult language to learn!

He noticed I was online and we talked a bit. But when he realized what time it was here (3:30 a.m. in the US, noon in Greece), he asked me why I was up so late. I told him I couldn't sleep and thought I'd check into Facebook to see what was going on with people. Then I saw all the political posts and got stressed out.

He quite eloquently said F*CK Trump! And then told me to go back to sleep.

I finally got a bit more sleep. Luckily I woke up in time to make it to church. It is my lifeboat these days.  I am still using my timer to keep me back on track. The high point of my day was my posole. I got up early enough to cut up the onions and garlic, saute the pork and get it all into the crockpot before I left.

After church, I REALLY wanted to go hide out in a restaurant with a book and lunch. But I am trying to reprogram myself.  To spend less on eating out. I also find I eat healthier at home.

But I was bummed all day.  I think I am having withdrawals. From my old hedonistic way of life.  Rewarding myself with food and numbing myself with the internet.

But I made it through the day. My "fruit of the spirit" for the day was faithfulness. Quite appropriate. I leaned on God a lot to help me get through.

And I did.  I had three students this afternoon. In between, I walked, ate a banana and drank tea.



And at the bus stop, waiting for the bus, I consoled myself with the book, Uninvited by Lysa Terkeurst.

I seriously think she wrote this book to me.  About me. She speaks as if she is inside my head.  Actually it is my daughter's book. Her husband gave it to her. She said she read a few pages and said, "This sounds just like Mom".  When I suffered my recent bout of the "D" word, she gave me this book.

I need this. Badly.

I also need to pray for our country, our world and our leaders.

My little emotional crisis is nothing compared to the suffering of people all over this planet.

Some people say the end is near.  It sure feels like it.

But on a positive note,  I talked with a parent today. They were watching the news of the people protesting Trump's ban on immigrants at the Portland International Airport.

I told her that the good I could see from this current era is that children are interested in politics, and people were standing up for the rights of others.  She agreed.

I am just going to keep breathing and thinking good thoughts. And trying to keep it together in my own little corner of the world.

By the way, the posole was lovely. I put shredded cabbage, avocado and a squeeze of lime on top. I used this recipe from Allrecipes.com: http://allrecipes.com/recipe/149938/slow-cooker-posole/

That, and get more sleep!

Happy Sunday!

Love, Joy, Peace

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