Skip to main content

Year Three, Day 8: Ain't Got Time for The Blues!

I took a day off from exercise today. My cough has returned. I was up last night hacking like a smoker. But I don't smoke.

I went next door to the Chinese market at lunch today.  They were out of "Nin Jiom Pei Pa Koa", the herbal loquat syrup that I usually get. But the cashier recommended another syrup, "Pei Pa Lo". It had similar ingredients, but she said it was "less sticky".  I bought it. I can already feel it working.  



I am still wondering if this is a stress cough.  So I tried to keep myself in a place of peace, calm and joy all day. 

It was a struggle.  I could feel the blues standing at the door. But I'm not letting him in! I am pretending I'm not home!  (Interesting that I give the blues a male gender!)

Last night I went to a choir potluck/party.  I actually really enjoyed myself. I even had two glasses of red wine!  But I stayed away from all the breads, pastas and desserts.  I did not eat after 8:00 p.m., but I did have one of those glasses of wine about 8:30 p.m.

That is probably why I was a little blue today. It was the post social event blues that afflicts me.

But I am glad I went. Although I may have tarnished my image. This is the choir I am the accompanist for. I've been with them for about 18 years. I love this group. I adore our director.  We usually work on challenging, large works of music. We are currently studying Bach's b minor Mass.  But we also do some lighter works. Amusingly, we are also doing some Hawaiin love songs this term!

But last night was a fun social event.  We even had a sing along. They past out lyrics for a Grateful Dead song, a Rolling Stones song ("I Can't Get No Satisfaction").  I was drinking my first glass of wine and singing along softly and politely, as was everyone else. But then when they broke out the Beatles, I could not control myself. Especially "Hey Judy", which is one of my favorite Beatles tunes.

I chugged the rest of my wine, and wailed! In my very deep, manly voice. (My voice gets lower and lower each year. I think I am a female bass now.) I just couldn't hit the "na na na nas" at the end. The young man sitting next to me attempted, much to everyone's amusement. I poked him a couple times to get him sing higher.

But now that the evening is a red winey haze in my mind, I am a bit embarrassed! People were laughing, but I really think my voice is horrible. And horror of horrors, I have been ask to sub for the choir director next week.  I get nervous enough leading choir, without now having exposed myself as a loud, slightly off key, female bass!

My face is so red typing this.

But there was a redeeming moment. My choir director friend had suggested we play some duets. So I copied off a four-hand Rachmaninoff and a Faure piece.  Not too difficult, but neither of us had time to practice.  We were on the top floor of the Holliday Park Plaza near Lloyd Center. By the time we got up to play our duet, the sun was beginning to set.  It was a spectacular view.

I told my friend as I sat down, "Good luck, I've had wine."

He said, "Good luck yourself. I have too!"

But magic happened. We have similar musical styles - very expressive. And we pulled it off.

The choir loved it. One person commented that it was the perfect sunset music.

One of my male friends that I carpool with had texted me earlier. I told him I taught piano classes until 6:30. The event started at 6:00. I was going to call Lyft because the bus would take forever. But he texted me from the event. He said to hop on a bus heading toward Lloyd Center and he would start driving towards me.

I texted him at every intersection. Then as the bus was approaching NE Glisan, he texted me to hop off. The minute that I hopped off the bus, he pulled up.

I told him I felt like I was in a spy movie. Or more fittingly like Mr. Magoo - Remember him?!

I was so flattered that he would leave the party and come get me. AND he gave me a ride home. I really do have good friends. One of these days I will have to shed this Eeyore mentality.

Plus, my male friend and I have interesting, animated talks. (And he's cute too!)

Hey, you know, I don't think I'm feeling so blue anymore.

Tomorrow I am actually going to go to the church where I am employed. I am a wee bit nervous.  But I am also keeping anxiety on the porch.

I just hope I don't trip on the blues and anxiety in the morning when I head out for my sunrise run! You heard me. I am getting up and running early in the morning.

I said it. Now I have to do it!

I have so much more to say, but I think I shall go to bed now. Sunrise is at 5:33 a.m. tomorrow. Plus it is going to be in the 80's!

Ain't got time for the blues!! I am still focusing on JOY! :)

Talk to you tomorrow.

Love,

Zita








Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Year Four, Day 328: Success at Last!! This is What I Do

Hello My Long Lost Friends! Or, perhaps it was I who was lost? And now I think I am beginning to find myself!  Under layers of fat, and self loathing!  How's that for an opening line!  Or perhaps the title of a novel:  Layers of Fat and Self-Loathing! Today I stepped on the scale.  I am weighing myself every morning these days. I was shocked! I told my partner the scale must be broken!  Yesterday I weight 186. Today 185! I have been on a strict intermittent fast for the past 10 weeks. I have officially lost 12 pounds!  And the best news is I think I not only can stick to this way of eating, I am actually beginning to really enjoy it!  And look how far I've come! I've been writing since May 12, 2015.  Over 8 years now!  I know this blog post says Year Four, Day 328, but there have been many pauses in blogging. For instance, when I am not pleased with progress or simply have no words! I was 53 when I first began blogging. I am now 61. I honestly feel better than I did 8 years

Year Four, Day 335: "Crisis Fatigue"

Hello Friends! I have missed you! I have been so utterly exhausted and downright depressed, that I couldn't summon enough energy to even lift my fingers to this computer keyboard to write.  Apparently there is a mental disorder for people going through crises.  Crises such as pandemics, systemic racism, political division, unemployment, police brutality, civil unrest.... It's called "crisis fatigue". When humans are presented with a threat, adrenaline is released to give us quick energy. This is called the "fight or flight syndrome". But when threats are overwhelming, and perceivably continuous, like this year, it overwhelms the system. People can feel numb, depressed, anxious and irritable. Yup. That's me.  I guess I'm quite normal after all! I found an interesting article that describes crisis fatigue, especially in relation to current events.  But it doesn't really address how to take care of ourselves during these unsettling times!

Year Two, Day 313: Most Excited Am I!

I almost started today's blog with my standard, "Most tired am I" And I am. So tired. And ready for spring.  But tonight when I got home, my wonderful housemate told me that I had a package waiting for me on the counter.  So I ran in and found the book I had been waiting for: Open Mind, Open Heart , by Thomas Keating. Most excited am I! I put a bag of popcorn in the microwave, filled my water and was heading downstairs to open my new book - but I had to detour around the cat who had just killed and attempted to eat a spider. Good kitty! :) I ordered this book the day that I was inspired to turn my introversion into a positive. To use it as a stepping stone to a deeper relationship with God. To go up to the next level in my spiritual path. Thomas Keating is known as "The leader within the Catholic world in the task of recovering our Christian contemplative heritage" Ewert H. Cousins, General Editor, "World Spirituality, An Encyclopedic Hist