Skip to main content

Year Two, Day 356: I Can See Clearly Now...

...the rain has gone!

But alas, I am a bit under the weather today. Ok. WAY under the weather. Because the weather is epic today!

My mood was REALLY low this morning. I'd say about a 2 on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being severely depressed, 10 being ecstatic). I did not sleep well last night.
 
But I saw the sun peeking through my blinds. And I remembered the weather forecast - they are saying a high of 80 degrees Farhrenheit today!  And I remember my commitment to DO!

So I forced myself to get up and put on my running shoes. I did my brisk walk to the gas station for my coffee reward. It is 3/4 mile to the gas station. I knew I would not make the bus back in time to make it to my office job if I waited for the next bus, so I also walked 3/4 mile back home.

THIS IS WHAT I NEEDED!  

On the way back, steaming mug of creamy, caffeinated goodness in hand, birds singing, gentle warm breeze blowing, I thought, "There is no easy answer. No happiness pill. I have to put forth the effort. It is hard to get going. But the rewards are endless!"

By the time I got home, my blood was flowing, my lungs expanding with warm, spring air, my mind alert.  I went from a 2 to about a 6 in roughly 20 minutes.

Compare this to taking an antidepressant, and not doing the work.  Just popping a pill to feel better. I am resisting going back to that mentality!

I got on the scale this morning, and I am down a pound from yesterday.  I am determined to stick to my eating and exercise plan.  I will be starting year three of this blog in 9 days!

I am thankful that I have been pretty diligent about tracking my weight. I use weightcommander.com.
It is free.  Here is a chart of every Wednesday that I input my weight for the past 7 years.  Notice the dates I highlighted. Today I am 191.80 pounds. On 05/18 2011, roughly 7 years ago, I weighed in at 229 pounds.  

As I said yesterday, I showed progress, even when I was not 100% engaged.

I am shooting for 100% now!  I know I will have low days, today being one of them. But I will keep on keeping on!
Progress! :)




It is so beautiful outside, I went out twice to check the mail.  And then I took a second look at the church sign.  Our church sign changer always tags me in a post on Facebook with our new sign message. The pastor rocks with her sign messages! I like to think of the people driving by. How many of them will read the sign, and be forever changed?

Speaking of change, which I am currently all about, look at this week's sign....It is a sign!!


A Sign!


 But my mood took another nose dive at my morning office job. One of the church members brought in some negativity. I tried to listen to her complaints, and help solve them the best I could. Tried to be supportive, but in my vulnerable state, my stomach started to churn.

Her problems mostly solved, she left, after apologizing for being a bit grumpy. I told her not to worry.  But my spirits had dampened. I know I need to work on rising above, and not letting someone else's energy deplete mine. It has been a lifelong struggle.

If someone is sad, blue, or in crisis and I can help, I soar. I love to help! But if I am feeling criticized, judged or blamed, I retreat into my turtle shell.  

I guess awareness is the first step to recovery, right? But is recovery possible for an overly sensitive, introvert with chronic depression and anxiety?  I am definitely at the end of MY comfort zone!

Sigh.  A work in progress I am.

But, still. That glorious sunshine!

And now for my daily food log:

Food Log, May 3, 2017

  • 9:30 a.m. 1 12 oz mug coffee with three creamers and 1 package sugar (204 cals)..I think I will stick with black tea most days!
  • 10:30 a.m. 1 serving "Umpqua Oats Insane Grains  - Oatmeal with Quinoa & Chia" with 1 teaspoon butter - (242 cals)
  • 12:30 p.m. sliced carrots and 1 oz "LaTerra Fina Greek Yogurt Dip with spinach, artichoke and parmesan (50 cals). 10 Trader Joes Popped Barbecue potato chips (60 cals). 1 cube turkey Spam (40 cals)
  • 4:00 p.m. Chicken Katsu, White Rice, Spam Musubi and a Diet Coke at L&L Hawaiin Barbecue on SE 82nd and Holgate.  I was feeling the need for comfort food.  And comfort I got.  But it was about 800 calories worth!  My belly and my mood might suffer tomorrow. Chicken Katsu is deep fried.  But for now I am happy.  I am a sucker for spam musubi!
Spam Musubi

  • It is now 4:45 p.m. I am at the library blogging before my next student. No Greek keyboard here!  It really is a glorious day outside. I packed an orange for my evening snack. I am at 1,394 calories right now. An orange has 45 cals, so I will have to stop eating after the orange if I want to stick to my plan. I shall!
  •  Predicted Grand Total (Will report back tomorrow on actual): 1,399 cals
  • My goal is 1,500 cals a day or less. If I just stick with that orange, and perhaps an unsweetened iced tea I will make it! Three days in a row....Woot Woot!

    A positive part of my day is that my new eyeglasses had arrived!  The frames are similar to my old ones, but a bit more purple.  The lenses are stronger. Blind as a bat I am! It is nice to see clearly again!  Perhaps it will give me more "insight". ;) Today was a roller coaster of a day. But I am sticking to my plan.  Putting one foot in front of the other.


    New Glasses

    Today I am focusing on the fruit of the spirit: "Joy" (From Galatians 5:22-23).  It is challenging feeling joyful under the cloud of depression, but I usually break through. The sunshine helps!

    On that note, I wish you a Happy Wednesday! :)

    Talk to you tomorrow...

    Love,
    Zita







    Comments

    Popular posts from this blog

    Year Three, Day 134: The Charmed Life of a Commuting Grandma

    I just discovered that the Starbucks at Cascades Station stays open until 10:00 p.m. every night.

    Just when I was wanting to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming. Being a commuting grandma really is not that difficult. Actually, my life pretty much rocks right now!

    Today has been a very good day. And I had maybe 3 hours of solid sleep last night. The Burrito has decided she likes to sleep cuddled in the arms of her Great Grandma Blanche or Grandma Zita during the day. Or snuggled safe in her infant seat while her mom, grandma and great grandma go out to lunch, do laundry and go shopping.

    I warned my daughter that the
    Baby Burrito needed some awake time yesterday. Or else we would pay for it in the evening. But getting so much done with a snoozing baby in tow was so freeing. Especially since Baby Burrito's dad is elk hunting all weekend.

    We finally roused her for a bath, diaper change and piano lesson early afternoon.

    Baby Burrito had a fantastic first piano lesson. At…

    Year Three, Day 236: Memories of Food

    Well, I ALMOST got on the treadmill today!

    I planned on it. I actually had a very productive morning. I woke up super early, but it was cold and I knew I would be exhausted if I actually got vertical at 4:47 a.m. So I stayed in bed and checked emails, and played a few games of Words with Friends.

    I drifted off again, and finally got out of bed at 9:30.  I did my prayer, journaling, bible study and reading from my Joyce Meyer Book. (The Mind Connection). I have only one more chapter to read and I am finished with the book! At which point, I plan on going back to the beginning and rereading the whole thing. It is that good!

    I did my morning hoop. It was a crisp, cold morning, but no wind. I had a good workout. Then I practiced a bit of piano and did some piano lesson planning for my students.

    I had planned on grabbing a quick lunch and then hopping on the Max to the gym where I would hop on the treadmill, hop in the jacuzzi and then grab a quick shower before my students.

    The bus that g…

    Year Three, Day 261: The Belligerent Man, The Bus Driver, and the Woman in a Poncho

    I just had a most entertaining bus ride!

    I had just gotten of the Max at the Hollywood Transit Center. I was coming down the steps, when I saw the #75 to Milwaukie entering the parking lot. That was my transfer bus!  I didn't want to miss it, because at this time of day, it might be a 20 minute wait until the next one.

    I had just come from a lovely sushi lunch with  my daughter and Baby Gracie at Cascades Station.

    The plan was for me to teach my piano students and then return to Vancouver tonight. My daughter has much work to do at home and we all know that working at home with a 5 month old baby is a bit of an oxymoron!

    Anyway, I hurried down the stairs, being very mindful. The steps were slippery in the Portland drizzle. Slipping and falling would kind of put a cramp in my day.

    I slowed down when I noticed there was a long line of passengers waiting to board. At the end of the line was an older, distinguished looking gentleman.  He was wearing a long overcoat and hat.  He nodded…