Skip to main content

Day 63: Solitude, Family, Friends and Rain!


Nothing touches the soul like holding a precious baby.  I spent the afternoon with my niece Brooke and her daughter Aurora on Sunday.  :) Such a miracle!

After our visit, I headed up to the Grotto.  I had some free time and was searching for some time alone with God. I found myself wandering around the gift shop in search of a book to inspire me as I sat in the Meditation Chapel on the cliff, pondering life, God and my place in all of this.
I found the perfect book - or perhaps it found me! "Out of Solitude" by Henri Nouwen.
It seems that lately, the theme of our group is healing. As I search for words of comfort for a friend who has just survived a breakup..As I cover my own wounds from harsh, judgmental words from my mother (which I feel were not meant to hurt me, but to cover her own pain and confusion), as I try to find strength to serve God and others, while enduring my own weakness and failings....I found deep meaning in these words from his section entitled "With Care". I wanted to share them with you. Much food for thought for me here!


"Out of solitude Jesus reached out his caring hand to the people in need...Jesus indeed cared...What we see, and like to see, is cure and change. But what we do not see and do not want to see is care: the participation in the pain, the solidarity in suffering, the sharing in the experience of brokenness...In a community like ours, we have put all the emphasis on cure...Real care is not ambiguous. Real care excludes indifference and is the opposite of apathy. The care finds it roots in the Gothic 'Kara', which means to lament. The basic meaning of care is 'to grieve, to experience sorrow, to cry out with." The friend who can be silent with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not-knowing, not-curing, not-healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is the friend who cares...to care means first of all to be present to each other...Our tendency is to run away from the painful realities or to try to change them as soon as possible. But cure without care makes us rulers, controllers, manipulators, and prevents a real community from taking shape. Cure without care makes us preoccupied with quick changes, impatient and unwilling to share each other's burden. And so cure can often become offending instead of liberating...It is therefore not so strange that cure is not seldom refused by people in need. Not only have individuals refused help when they did not sense a real care, but also oppressed minorities have resisted support, and suffering nations have declined medicine and food when they realized it was better to suffer than to lose self-respect by accepting a gift out of a non-caring hand."

I woke up early this morning, about 2 a.m. to the sound of rushing water. My window was open. And the sweet smell of rain was blowing into my room.  I was so happy! I love the rain.  It seems to clean the air, the ground and my very soul. I felt quite refreshed when I finally got out of bed later.  I did a quick brisk walk on the trail and then headed out for lunch with two very dear musical friends of mine.  It was time well spent.  And I made a good food choice! My friends had humongous hoagies, which I was trying not too oogle. I had a nice salad of greens, black beans, corn and chicken. No bread.  Was nice to come out of my cave and spend time eating and talking.

I am feeling very balanced today.

I will have to do my weight and measurements tomorrow, because today I literally hit the ground running.


Happy Monday! :)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Year Four, Day 79: My Prayer Hats

January 2, 2019

At my library office.  So many thoughts. Most of which I cannot share publicly.

My son is doing well.  My family is well.  My cough has returned, but I am taking care of it. Mostly with my ginger/lemon/honey tea concoction. Heavy on the ginger, light on the honey.

I have decided I need to be nicer to myself.  Someone has to!

My New Year's Addition this year is simple: "Love myself so I can love others".

I am continuing with all of my additions from the last 8 years, which include exercise, daily bible reading and prayer, daily piano practice, random acts of kindness, healthy eating, drinking oodles of water...

I find I am less likely to fail if I just add good things into my life, rather than resolve to change.

I am not really even concerned about the weight anymore.  My appetite has been rather low. Probably because of stress, worry and this lost sense of smell thing.

I'm o.k. with it.  Everything in moderation. Oh, if I could go back in time and tea…

Year Four, Day 51: The MRI, the Boil and Me!

9/10/2018:
I am beside myself with joy! Gracie and I are strolling through the park near our home, and I noticed leaves are falling from the trees. Some of the leaves have turned a beautiful bright yellow. And a gentle rain has begun to fall. I cannot tell you how happy I am! The only thing that would add to my joy, would be if I could actually smell the new rain.

I still have no sense of smell. My taste is greatly diminished too.

I am so happy that I had that MRI yesterday. The results should be coming within a week they told me. It was actually a very interesting experience!

The most difficult part was holding still. Especially since I suddenly had the urge to cough. Violently. I shared this information with the technician. She shook her head and told me no coughing, sneezing or any kind of movement whatsoever.

"It would ruin the scan", she said somberly.

I told her perhaps I should use my inhaler. She told me that was a good idea. So I hopped off the scan machine and wen…

Year Four, Day 69: The Road to Inverness

At last I feel like talking again.

It has been a long time - over a month!

I have been sad, depressed, overwhelmed and anxious.

Such is a woman with an incarcerated loved one.

My family member in crisis. He has been in jail for one month today.

In case you haven't guessed, my FMIC (aka family member in crisis) is my son.  I have started a gofundme page for him. It is public knowledge.  

My son is doing well, considering.  In fact, I often think he is doing better emotionally, physically and spiritually than I am!

I feel like I am on a roller coaster - of the emotional kind!

Every morning my eyes fly open. My heart is usually pounding. I feel a sense of impending doom. I try to breath slowly, sip water and tell myself all is well.

But then I remember. My son is in jail. All is not well!

Although, to tell you truth, it could have been much worse.  There are many bright spots to this whole experience.

He is alive.He is clean and sober.He hasn't had a cigarette in over 30 days.He …