Day 99: Waking up!

Bloody Mary Sunday with my daughter. I am wearing one of my "Gwynnie Bee" rentals!

Yesterday was a bit of a breakthrough. My mother and I have always enjoyed spending quality time together talking and eating. Most often in a restaurant. Over the years of single parenting, my life had gotten so busy that I had cut out all extraneous activities. Including time with my mom.

A few years ago, as we talked on the phone I told her we should find a day to meet every week for breakfast and conversation. And so Saturdays with Mom began!  I always look forward to seeing her and catching up. I usually don't worry about my diet on these days. I figure it is just once a week. I usually have a large meal and then hope it will satisfy me for most of the day.

But this has backfired.  Lately I feel tired and in a blur on Saturdays. And that is my busy day of teaching! Having a big breakfast also has not guaranteed that I will not be hungry later!

So, we changed the plan.  Yesterday I made breakfast! No wheat for me.  And it actually tasted much better than the restaurant we frequent. Much cheaper too!  I thought it might be weird, just her and I. It seems like part of our ritual is being out amongst other people. But to be honest, we don't talk to many of them, other than the servers!

And I had MEGA energy all day yesterday! I brought my lunch. After my last student, I stayed at the church and practiced for three hours!

Then I got on the bus heading home. I was a little hungry and had to battle the demons living inside of my head. You know the ones. They say things like, "Go ahead, you worked hard, and had a healthy breakfast. You DESERVE a relaxing dinner. Have a taco, have a small cheeseburger, FRENCH FRIES, a DIET COKE...."  Arrggg. It was really hard, but I just marched to the bus.

I often will read a book while I wait. Or listen to the radio. For some reason I often turn on talk radio. But sometimes the conversation (and commercials) makes me anxious, or wakes up my brain so much that I can't sleep.

So I searched for some music. I landed on the FISH 104.7. Christian contemporary.  And they were playing one of my favorite pieces. "Flawless" by Mercy Me.  I took a deep breath and felt instant peace. No more demons. I turned up the sound and was carried away.  I took the bus to my stop, and floated the four blocks home. I had my backpack on , so I didn't feel overloaded. My belly didn't feel bloated. I didn't ache. And I was filled with the most indescribable joy. Every song they played last night spoke directly to my soul.

When I got home, my son-in-law was there watching television. I needed to prep some food for more prepackaged meals. So I kept the headphones in. I washed dishes, sauted chicken, roasted beets, onions and sweet potatoes.  After the food was cooked and was cooling, I washed the dishes and cleaned the kitchen. All with my headphones on. Beautiful music, meaningful lyrics. No more negative thoughts, at least last night! I worked until almost 1:00 a.m.

And I slept like a baby last night.

Today I went to church. I put on the FISH. It wasn't playing as many moving MY soul songs, but I channel surfed, avoiding commercials and music that didn't fill me with joy. Music to tame demons. Who knew?  I think when I listen to music, I often am analyzing it. Or using it to get me revved up to exercise.  It's weird.  I don't often just allow myself the pleasure of being swept away by music. 

I need to start doing that.  Listening more. With my soul.

I tried to tell my daughter about my experience at our new Bloody Mary Sunday tradition. She smiled kindly and said, "That's nice, Mom". Not sure she gets it. But to be truthful, I'm not sure I understand it myself.

We went to the Claim Jumper for our drinks and appetizers. It was nice and dark and relatively quiet. But we agreed that we could probably make better drinks and healthier appetizers at home. I told her about my experience with my mom, "Grandma" as her name is now to the rest of the family.

So our next Bloody Mary Sunday we shall do at home!

But probably not next Sunday, because I am giving a little classical piano concert.

Tomorrow is 100 days of my new life.

1. Daily exercise: Yoga, walking and/or weight training. Some jogging (when it is not hot) 
2. Daily prayer and bible study. 
3. Daily blogging. 
4. Daily listening to wonderful music.  
5. Daily piano practice.
6. Daily focusing on healthy, whole food meals. 
7. Eating most meals at home. That one is a big one. And it was a recent change. And a difficult one! But I am already feeling so much more energetic!  Last meal of the day at 6:00 p.m. No food after 7:00.  THIS change has been much easier than I could have possibly imagined.
8. And water. Gallons and gallons of water!

Starting tomorrow I'd like to start reducing caffeine.  But this one I am not going to be too extreme with. I'm going to just increase herbal teas and keep drinking water as my beverage of choice. I will allow a few Earl Gray teas in the mornings, especially as move towards fall - my favorite season! And breakfast with mom is a coffee morning.

You know, after re-reading what I just wrote, I realized I have not been taking good care of myself. Quite the hedonist!  And quite possibly a food addict! I feel guilty typing this. Because I don't consider myself selfish and lazy. I have all kinds of excuses and justifications. But the truth is, I needed to change. 

 I am so glad I woke up!  (And not to smell the coffee, to REALLY LIVE!)

Happy Sunday! :)