Note: I wrote this blog late last evening, but then had trouble with my Wi-fi signal, so wasn't able to post last night. Day 84 coming up!
Another late awakening. But it feels a little cooler this morning.
I was hoping to get to the trail this morning, but since I overslept and I had an interview for a church musician job, I did a few yoga stretches and flew out the door. Dressed in my first Gwynnie Bee rental dress, I might add! I love it! It fit perfectly, felt wonderful. And I am just so impressed with this creative business. Running late, I didn't get a chance to snap a photo. But here is a picture of a Gwynnie Bee model wearing the dress:
I needed to take two buses to my destination, but I barely missed my connecting bus. So, I decided to walk. And as I did I realized I was quite happy! I walked about 25 blocks. There was a pleasant breeze. The skies were overcast and the air smelled of impending rain. I breathed deep and lengthened my stride.
I had been concerned that I wouldn't get any proper exercise in today. After my interview, I was heading home to help my daughter clean and prepare a meal for my 19 year-old niece's birthday dinner. It would be a busy day and I have this fear of days slipping by without exercise. And spiralling back to a life of excuses and guilt.
So I used this Sunday morning walk to church as my exercise. And my spirits soared!
The church was a sweet little Presbyterian Church tucked into a SE Portland neighborhood. An older 1940ish structure. Service had begun when I arrived. I quickly changed from my walking shoes to my interview shoes and slipped into a back row.
I had found a seat just in time for a hymn. I scanned the lyrics and music. I wasn't familiar with it, but belted it out in my deep tenor woman's voice. I love to sing. Just not sure anyone likes to hear me! I noticed from the corner of my eye, that a woman in the row in front of me turned her head to glance at me as I was singing my heart out. I didn't establish eye contact. I figured she disapproved of my loud, manly voice.
But later in the service, after communion, she extended her hand to me, smiling and welcoming me. She introduced herself, asked my name and gave me a little guest book to sign. Several other people smiled and greeted me. As I went up to receive communion, I received many looks of acknowledgement, and kind smiles. I felt a warm feeling in my chest.
It feels good to be acknowledged and welcomed. Especially when you are a stranger.
Last year I moved to Salem, Oregon with my son. My son needed time away and I needed cheaper rent. My daughter had recently graduated from Oregon State University and her fiance had accepted a job in Salem, so they had moved down a few months earlier. When I spoke with my daughter about finding a cheaper place to live, she recommended Salem. We needed to spend time planning her wedding and we just missed our mommy daughter time.
And cheap rent I found! I found a small apartment for HALF the rent of what I was paying in Portland.
The plan was to live in Salem, save some money on rent, but still teach in Portland. I commuted by Amtrak for about a year. It was quite an adventure! The commuting gave me a lot of time to think. I am an introvert by nature. I need a lot of time alone to think.
I had a lot of time! But the time soon ate up my teaching schedule. And I found I needed to find work in Salem to make it worthwhile. Trouble was, I had not realized Salem has a very poor public transportation system. Especially compared to Portland.
I accepted a church organist/accompanist job at a Lutheran church in Salem BEFORE I found out there was no weekend bus service.
Suffice it to say, it was quite an adventure!
But to backtrack a bit, when we first moved to Salem, I noticed a little church within walking distance of our humble little apartment. The apartment was very humble. But I liked the address. It was on Peace street. And our unit was a few steps from the bus stop. The bus that didn't run on weekends. Arrggg.
I felt like a big part of my journey was spiritual. I knew God was working really hard in my life. So finding a place of worship was high on my list. Providing a safe place for my son to becoming clean and sober was just as high.
And in Salem we found both. The church we walked to was Relevant Life. An Assemblies of God congregation. And from the minute you entered the building you felt the spirit. Assemblies of God are immersed in Spirit. According to christanity.about.com:
"The Assemblies of God (AG) are among the Pentecostal churches. The biggest distinction setting them apart from other Protestant churches is their practice of speaking in tongues as a sign of anointing and "Baptism in the Holy Spirit" - a special experience following salvation that empowers believers for witnessing and effective service. Another distinct practice of Pentecostals is "miraculous healing" by the power of the Holy Spirit."
This little church in little old Salem had more spirit in it then all the churches I have set foot in, in my 53 years on this planet. I felt lifted up from the minute I entered the building. I felt loved, cherished and inspired.
In all my years as a church pianist, I had sought this type of worship. I even began putting in the "Objective" line of my resume: Seeking a position as a pianist in a SPIRT-LED, Christ-centered church. I never really found it.
But Relevant Life has it. I love them.
The Lutheran church in Salem - not so much. I hesitate to speak ill of any person or group. So I won't. But I felt invisible and unwanted at that church. Nobody was really unkind. But I never felt loved. Perhaps entangled in my feelings was dismay at the lack of bus. At first I took a cab to and from church. A $30 cab fare. Almost half of my pay for the day. Then I walked. A 2 hour walk. Then I posted on Facebook that I was looking for a cheap bike.
And the pastor's wife from Relevant Life immediately called me and GAVE me a bike that her daughter no longer used.
So for about six months, when the weather wasn't too harsh, I biked. And I felt like a survivor.
While I was in Salem, I became friends with a wonderful group of Jehovah's Witness sisters. We studied the Bible weekly, visited and had healthy treats. They accepted me unconditionally and shared their lives with me. They even gave me rides to piano students houses after our studies. Years ago, I studied with a lovely young JW woman in Portland. I was devastated when she and her husband drowned tragically at the Oregon Coast about five years ago. I had not resumed studies after Katy's death, but my time with my friends in Salem began to heal my wounded heart. Moving back to Portland was more difficult than I had thought. I miss my Salem JW sisters and I miss Relevant Life church.
We have all since moved back to Portland. I was hopping the train to Salem every Wednesday for bible study and the handful of students I have there. I will not be going down in August, but I believe I will continue in the fall. I plan on visiting my JW sisters for lunch and perhaps I can attend a class at Relevant Life. How I wish I could combine all the wonderful groups of people I know into one big lump! :)
In the meantime, I have visited a few churches in Portland for worship. I love to worship God. I crave studying. Especially the Bible. My JW friends visited me up in Portland. It turns out, I live very close to some sisters here in Portland. I met them and they are lovely. I plan on resuming my studies with them soon.
But this summer, my piano student load decreased alarmingly, so it is back to church pianist employment for me.
At my interview yesterday, I felt comfortable. Almost too comfortable. I have a peculiar personality. At my core, an introvert. But I love being on stage. And I love interviews! But I have to talk to myself before hand to breathe, and not get too chatty and hyper. It helps a bit to breathe. But I don't listen to myself very well. I got chatty and hyper yesterday.
I think I like talking about myself. How embarrassing is that!!
One of the personnell committee member asked THE QUESTION yesterday. The one we all dread. "What are your greatest strengths and what are your greatest weaknessess?"
But I had anticipated this question on my walk to church. I was ready. But I wanted to be sure I was being authentic in this interview. Not just presenting someone who they would hire. But presenting me.
I told him, "I thought you'd never ask! I have many strengths! (Oy, why did I say this?) I love music and I love God. I play from my heart and very expressively. And I am an excellent sight-reader. My weakness is that I am very sensitive. Especially to criticism. But as I pondered this on my way to church this morning, I realized that I am my own worst critic. So I have decided to be kinder to myself".
I really liked this revelation. So even if I don't get the job, I have learned something about myself. And although this church does not have as much spirit as Relevant Life, they acknowledged me. And I was not the invisible woman. And I hope to always treat others like they are visible people too!
Another late awakening. But it feels a little cooler this morning.
I was hoping to get to the trail this morning, but since I overslept and I had an interview for a church musician job, I did a few yoga stretches and flew out the door. Dressed in my first Gwynnie Bee rental dress, I might add! I love it! It fit perfectly, felt wonderful. And I am just so impressed with this creative business. Running late, I didn't get a chance to snap a photo. But here is a picture of a Gwynnie Bee model wearing the dress:
 |
| https://closet.gwynniebee.com/products/triste-geometric-animal-print-shift-dress |
I added a navy blue sash and black pumps. :)
I needed to take two buses to my destination, but I barely missed my connecting bus. So, I decided to walk. And as I did I realized I was quite happy! I walked about 25 blocks. There was a pleasant breeze. The skies were overcast and the air smelled of impending rain. I breathed deep and lengthened my stride.
I had been concerned that I wouldn't get any proper exercise in today. After my interview, I was heading home to help my daughter clean and prepare a meal for my 19 year-old niece's birthday dinner. It would be a busy day and I have this fear of days slipping by without exercise. And spiralling back to a life of excuses and guilt.
So I used this Sunday morning walk to church as my exercise. And my spirits soared!
The church was a sweet little Presbyterian Church tucked into a SE Portland neighborhood. An older 1940ish structure. Service had begun when I arrived. I quickly changed from my walking shoes to my interview shoes and slipped into a back row.
I had found a seat just in time for a hymn. I scanned the lyrics and music. I wasn't familiar with it, but belted it out in my deep tenor woman's voice. I love to sing. Just not sure anyone likes to hear me! I noticed from the corner of my eye, that a woman in the row in front of me turned her head to glance at me as I was singing my heart out. I didn't establish eye contact. I figured she disapproved of my loud, manly voice.
But later in the service, after communion, she extended her hand to me, smiling and welcoming me. She introduced herself, asked my name and gave me a little guest book to sign. Several other people smiled and greeted me. As I went up to receive communion, I received many looks of acknowledgement, and kind smiles. I felt a warm feeling in my chest.
It feels good to be acknowledged and welcomed. Especially when you are a stranger.
Last year I moved to Salem, Oregon with my son. My son needed time away and I needed cheaper rent. My daughter had recently graduated from Oregon State University and her fiance had accepted a job in Salem, so they had moved down a few months earlier. When I spoke with my daughter about finding a cheaper place to live, she recommended Salem. We needed to spend time planning her wedding and we just missed our mommy daughter time.
And cheap rent I found! I found a small apartment for HALF the rent of what I was paying in Portland.
The plan was to live in Salem, save some money on rent, but still teach in Portland. I commuted by Amtrak for about a year. It was quite an adventure! The commuting gave me a lot of time to think. I am an introvert by nature. I need a lot of time alone to think.
I had a lot of time! But the time soon ate up my teaching schedule. And I found I needed to find work in Salem to make it worthwhile. Trouble was, I had not realized Salem has a very poor public transportation system. Especially compared to Portland.
I accepted a church organist/accompanist job at a Lutheran church in Salem BEFORE I found out there was no weekend bus service.
Suffice it to say, it was quite an adventure!
But to backtrack a bit, when we first moved to Salem, I noticed a little church within walking distance of our humble little apartment. The apartment was very humble. But I liked the address. It was on Peace street. And our unit was a few steps from the bus stop. The bus that didn't run on weekends. Arrggg.
I felt like a big part of my journey was spiritual. I knew God was working really hard in my life. So finding a place of worship was high on my list. Providing a safe place for my son to becoming clean and sober was just as high.
And in Salem we found both. The church we walked to was Relevant Life. An Assemblies of God congregation. And from the minute you entered the building you felt the spirit. Assemblies of God are immersed in Spirit. According to christanity.about.com:
"The Assemblies of God (AG) are among the Pentecostal churches. The biggest distinction setting them apart from other Protestant churches is their practice of speaking in tongues as a sign of anointing and "Baptism in the Holy Spirit" - a special experience following salvation that empowers believers for witnessing and effective service. Another distinct practice of Pentecostals is "miraculous healing" by the power of the Holy Spirit."
This little church in little old Salem had more spirit in it then all the churches I have set foot in, in my 53 years on this planet. I felt lifted up from the minute I entered the building. I felt loved, cherished and inspired.
In all my years as a church pianist, I had sought this type of worship. I even began putting in the "Objective" line of my resume: Seeking a position as a pianist in a SPIRT-LED, Christ-centered church. I never really found it.
But Relevant Life has it. I love them.
The Lutheran church in Salem - not so much. I hesitate to speak ill of any person or group. So I won't. But I felt invisible and unwanted at that church. Nobody was really unkind. But I never felt loved. Perhaps entangled in my feelings was dismay at the lack of bus. At first I took a cab to and from church. A $30 cab fare. Almost half of my pay for the day. Then I walked. A 2 hour walk. Then I posted on Facebook that I was looking for a cheap bike.
And the pastor's wife from Relevant Life immediately called me and GAVE me a bike that her daughter no longer used.
So for about six months, when the weather wasn't too harsh, I biked. And I felt like a survivor.
While I was in Salem, I became friends with a wonderful group of Jehovah's Witness sisters. We studied the Bible weekly, visited and had healthy treats. They accepted me unconditionally and shared their lives with me. They even gave me rides to piano students houses after our studies. Years ago, I studied with a lovely young JW woman in Portland. I was devastated when she and her husband drowned tragically at the Oregon Coast about five years ago. I had not resumed studies after Katy's death, but my time with my friends in Salem began to heal my wounded heart. Moving back to Portland was more difficult than I had thought. I miss my Salem JW sisters and I miss Relevant Life church.
We have all since moved back to Portland. I was hopping the train to Salem every Wednesday for bible study and the handful of students I have there. I will not be going down in August, but I believe I will continue in the fall. I plan on visiting my JW sisters for lunch and perhaps I can attend a class at Relevant Life. How I wish I could combine all the wonderful groups of people I know into one big lump! :)
In the meantime, I have visited a few churches in Portland for worship. I love to worship God. I crave studying. Especially the Bible. My JW friends visited me up in Portland. It turns out, I live very close to some sisters here in Portland. I met them and they are lovely. I plan on resuming my studies with them soon.
But this summer, my piano student load decreased alarmingly, so it is back to church pianist employment for me.
At my interview yesterday, I felt comfortable. Almost too comfortable. I have a peculiar personality. At my core, an introvert. But I love being on stage. And I love interviews! But I have to talk to myself before hand to breathe, and not get too chatty and hyper. It helps a bit to breathe. But I don't listen to myself very well. I got chatty and hyper yesterday.
I think I like talking about myself. How embarrassing is that!!
One of the personnell committee member asked THE QUESTION yesterday. The one we all dread. "What are your greatest strengths and what are your greatest weaknessess?"
But I had anticipated this question on my walk to church. I was ready. But I wanted to be sure I was being authentic in this interview. Not just presenting someone who they would hire. But presenting me.
I told him, "I thought you'd never ask! I have many strengths! (Oy, why did I say this?) I love music and I love God. I play from my heart and very expressively. And I am an excellent sight-reader. My weakness is that I am very sensitive. Especially to criticism. But as I pondered this on my way to church this morning, I realized that I am my own worst critic. So I have decided to be kinder to myself".
I really liked this revelation. So even if I don't get the job, I have learned something about myself. And although this church does not have as much spirit as Relevant Life, they acknowledged me. And I was not the invisible woman. And I hope to always treat others like they are visible people too!
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