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Year Two, Day 11: Zita, Interview Ham


On my way to an interview. Very happy!

Trying to look cool, calm and collected. 



I had an audition and interview last night for a community choir accompanist.

Have I mentioned I have this peculiar behavior at interviews? One would think that, I, as an introvert would dread interviews. Would be quaking in my boots. But no!  I THRIVE on them!

I have noticed this for many years. I do not even care really if I get the job. I just love when they ask me questions about myself. I could go on for days!  And I love being challenged with sightreading.

Oh my goodness. Does this make me a narcissist? Like Trump?

I just did some research. And breathed a sigh of relief.  I am not a narcissist.  A ham, perhaps.  And yes I have a few issues. I do like taking selfies.  (Mostly to see if my face looks puffy).  But I do not think I am a classical narcissist. I have compassion for others, I do not  "require excessive admiration" - my favorite activity is reading a book alone. I do not have "an exaggerated sense of self importance", nor am I "preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success of power".

In case you are curious, here is the article I consulted: http://bigthink.com/artful-choice/less-than-artful-choices-narcissistic-personality-disorder-according-to-donald-trump

But this alter ego that emerges during interviews is quite perplexing. And it has given me some grief. I present this really outspoken, friendly, dynamic person at the interview, but in real life, I am quiet and usually serious. And introverted. I could rationalize that it is just nerves. But I am not nervous. I am excited, and quite pleased to be talking about the wonders of me!

I try to control this other personality that pops up.  But I just become more giddy and animated. Sigh.

So I did it again.  I went in, shook hands and sat down in a circle with the panel of interviewers.  They handed me a list of questions. The first one, was "Tell us a little about yourself and your historical and current interface with music".

I looked at them and smiled. "How much time do we have?", I asked before I launched into a narrative of my life dating back to 1965 (I was 3 when I learned how to play the piano).

Honestly, it was a great interview. The group was very enthusiastic about music and they listened to my solliloque good-naturedly.  They had me sightread some choral music. Piece of cake. But this one piece, called "Gabriellas Song", a Swedish song from a movie, nearly had me in tears. It was so beautiful!  One of the women sings in a Scandinavian chorus.  She wrote down the title for me.  It was from the movie "As it is in Heaven".  The English translation of the lyrics are:
Gabriella’s Song

Right now is when I’m alive
I have got this time here on Earth
And my longing has brought me here
All I lack and all I’ve gained

It is still the way that I chose

My trust went far beyond words
It has shown me a little bit
Of the heaven I never found

I must feel that I am living

All the time I have
And I’ll live the way I choose
I must feel that I am living
Knowing I was good enough

I have never forgotten my past

I have only left it sleeping
Maybe I never had a choice
Only willing to be alive

I want to be happy living being who I am

Knowing I am strong and free
See how night turns into day
I am here and my life is only mine
And the heaven I thought to be
I will find it there somewhere

I want to feel that I have lived my life

The woman who sings this song was the victim of domestic abuse.  I found a bit of information about this song on this blog: http://musicandsocialchange.wisrville.org/2011/07/22/gabriellas-song/

I would like to get the job with this choir. As I mentioned before, I think my days of being a church pianist are over. I need a day of rest. A day to worship. And not get involved in church politics.  
But since I came across as so pompous, I am not going to get my hopes up.  They will be making their decision by next week. I will keep you posted.  
But tonight was not a waste of time. To the contrary, just having discovered "GabriellaSong" made the evening worthwhile.

Oh, and it was not so bad talking about the wonders of me either!

Happy Thursday.

:)



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