I am one of the pianists. The short one, farthest from the camera Last night was the big performance. Right before we walked on stage I said a prayer. To calm my nerves and allow me to experience each moment. It was a success! I felt a hint of a tear about to break loose with the last chord. As much as I suffered working on this piece, the music is exquisite and undeniably emotional. Pulls on the strings of my soul. Suddenly, after all that hard work, it was over. Too soon. As we stood to acknowledge our audience, I noticed that everyone in the audience had lept to their feet,cheering and applauding. I recalled the words I had repeated to myself earlier that day. Words my mother soothe me with: "This, too, in time shall pass." Only I suddenly wanted to be inside the music. Reliving every angelic tone. I was curious about this saying. My mother left me with.I googled it and discovered it had a double meaning. A double meaning that hit home with the Requeim experience. The saying "appears in the works of Persian Sufi poets, such as Sanai and Attar of Nishapur.[1] Attar records the fable of a powerful king who asks assembled wise men to create a ring that will make him happy when he is sad. After deliberation the sages hand him a simple ring with the words "This too will pass" etched on it, which has the desired effect to make him happy when he is sad. It also, however, became a curse for whenever he is happy" (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/This_too_shall_pass) So if you are happy, you definitely do not want to wish that the moment would end. I just wanted to quell my nerves. Anyway, it was a memorable concert. And now, back to real life. It's a good thing I didn't go out for drinks with the group last night. I feel like I have a hangover. I did not drink a drop of alcohol. It is my pattern. Post concert depression. This too, in time, shall pass. But for now, an episode of "the Sopranos" and a bowl of buttered popcorn is calling my name. Happy Saturday! |
Hello My Long Lost Friends! Or, perhaps it was I who was lost? And now I think I am beginning to find myself! Under layers of fat, and self loathing! How's that for an opening line! Or perhaps the title of a novel: Layers of Fat and Self-Loathing! Today I stepped on the scale. I am weighing myself every morning these days. I was shocked! I told my partner the scale must be broken! Yesterday I weight 186. Today 185! I have been on a strict intermittent fast for the past 10 weeks. I have officially lost 12 pounds! And the best news is I think I not only can stick to this way of eating, I am actually beginning to really enjoy it! And look how far I've come! I've been writing since May 12, 2015. Over 8 years now! I know this blog post says Year Four, Day 328, but there have been many pauses in blogging. For instance, when I am not pleased with progress or simply have no words! I was 53 when I first began blogging. I am now 61. I honestly feel better than I did 8 years
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