The gray sky has returned. And a bit of rain.
Usually I thrive on overcast, drizzly Portland days. My head feels clear. I have more energy.
Not today. It was a struggle to get out of bed. Then it was a struggle to get motivated.
But I refuse to succumb to the negative mood my brain is dictating to me.
Every negative thought that popped up, I swatted it. Like a bug!
I made some tea, cleaned up, hooped and then I spent several hours practicing the piano and the portative organ. It was painful at first. I think my illness and anxiety have created bad habits. I seem to want comfort before work.
But, the Samurai in me says work before play!
So I pushed forth. I got some good work done.
Only then did I allow myself to go to Starbucks.
Good thing, because my family member in crisis called. He had lost his ID card on the bus several weeks ago. He has a lead on a job and wondered if I could pay for his ID until he got his first paycheck to pay me back.
I agreed. But I told him I had students this afternoon. We agreed to meet at DMV at 3:00 p.m. I told him he could not be late, or I would have to leave to teach. He agreed.
There was a Starbucks near DMV, so I sat and sipped my Citrus Defender and relaxed with a game of Words with Friends. I felt better about myself than I did this morning. I had accomplished a lot at home.
I told myself to go back to my "old school Samurai" way of living. Work first. Then relax. The funny thing is, that once I got going, I was so immersed in my piano and organ pra
ctice, that it became my enjoyment.
I am still tired. But at least I am not feeling the pressing guilt of inactivity.
Tomorrow I am going to Vancouver to visit my daughter and the Schnood. She has an appointment for a check up. And shots.
Oy.
I hope I can be strong!
My son-in-law has to work, so I will be there for support.
But who is going to support me? I do not want to see the Schnood in pain!
I do need to toughen up. I survived single motherhood. Shots, skinned knees, hurt feelings, broken bones, illnesses.
I can be grandmotherly and strong too!
On that note, the library is closing soon and I have students to teach.
Talk to you tomorrow!
Love,
Zita
P.S. Here is today's hooping video. Day 268!
Usually I thrive on overcast, drizzly Portland days. My head feels clear. I have more energy.
Not today. It was a struggle to get out of bed. Then it was a struggle to get motivated.
But I refuse to succumb to the negative mood my brain is dictating to me.
Every negative thought that popped up, I swatted it. Like a bug!
I made some tea, cleaned up, hooped and then I spent several hours practicing the piano and the portative organ. It was painful at first. I think my illness and anxiety have created bad habits. I seem to want comfort before work.
But, the Samurai in me says work before play!
So I pushed forth. I got some good work done.
Only then did I allow myself to go to Starbucks.
Good thing, because my family member in crisis called. He had lost his ID card on the bus several weeks ago. He has a lead on a job and wondered if I could pay for his ID until he got his first paycheck to pay me back.
I agreed. But I told him I had students this afternoon. We agreed to meet at DMV at 3:00 p.m. I told him he could not be late, or I would have to leave to teach. He agreed.
There was a Starbucks near DMV, so I sat and sipped my Citrus Defender and relaxed with a game of Words with Friends. I felt better about myself than I did this morning. I had accomplished a lot at home.
I told myself to go back to my "old school Samurai" way of living. Work first. Then relax. The funny thing is, that once I got going, I was so immersed in my piano and organ pra
I am still tired. But at least I am not feeling the pressing guilt of inactivity.
Tomorrow I am going to Vancouver to visit my daughter and the Schnood. She has an appointment for a check up. And shots.
Oy.
I hope I can be strong!
My son-in-law has to work, so I will be there for support.
But who is going to support me? I do not want to see the Schnood in pain!
I do need to toughen up. I survived single motherhood. Shots, skinned knees, hurt feelings, broken bones, illnesses.
I can be grandmotherly and strong too!
On that note, the library is closing soon and I have students to teach.
Talk to you tomorrow!
Love,
Zita
P.S. Here is today's hooping video. Day 268!
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