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Year Three, Day 92: Raw Blogging

I almost didn't blog today.  So many things going on in the world. I am feeling a little numb. Spent most of the afternoon following the breaking news about the violence at the white supremacist rally and counter protest in Charlottesville,Virginia.

Before that, at breakfast I talked with my mother, some regular customers and the owners of the restaurant we frequent about the rising tensions with North Korea.

I'm feeling a little raw right now.  I need some quiet time with God.  Many things to pray about.  Going to try to stay off of social media. Opinions and emotions are flying like hotcakes.

I'm finding it hard to breathe.

I am fortunate that my little corner of the world is peaceful and calm. So many people are hurting and suffering today.

It feels incredibly shallow to blog about my diet and exercise.

But then...

I recall 09/11/2001. Watching in numbed horror as the news showed the plane flying into the World Trade Center. Over and over again.

Feeling paralyzed.  Not knowing what to do.  But at some point, my daughter said she wanted to go to school. She was only in the 4th grade. She said it was an "important moment in history". And she wanted to hear what her teachers said.

She was a smart girl from the moment she was born.  After I dropped the kids off at school, I sat starting at the television. I was a licensed massage therapist back then. One of my clients called. He too, was glued to his tv. He asked if I was working. I told him I hadn't even considered it. He said that we couldn't do anything here but pray. And maybe just going about our lives in the best manner possible was the best way to handle this tragedy.

And so, as we deal with yet another instance of senseless violence, I am going to continue to blog. I am proud that today, even though I was worried about the world, had a dull ache in my chest and was raw emotionally, I did not succomb to senseless emotional eating.

I did my hooping in the morning before breakfast with my mom. The heat wave is definately over. I actually had to wear a sweater this morning at the beginning of my hoop session. The air was refreshing. And smelled cleaner than normal.  After breakfast, I taught piano students and ate healthy all day. I ended with a baked chicken breast, olives and iced tea at Safeway before my mile walk home.

But I was tired. And my heart felt heavy.  

I will probably watch some more news, but I am going to avoid Facebook. I find it can be overwhelming in times like these. I am going to spend some time in quiet prayer and reflection.If you pray, know that I am joining you in prayer. If not, just know that I care.

Happy Saturday to you and your loved ones.

Talk to you tomorrow.




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