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Day 191: Praying IS Doing Something

I got really stressed out last night. My heart was pounding and my head felt like it was going to explode.

There was no impending danger. No argument. I was on Facebook.

The recent terrorism in France looks like it is the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.  Opinions are flying like fruit flies all over the internet. Especially social media.

I have so many feelings, and worries. But part of me is afraid to say what I really think.

I am afraid of being criticized, condemned or (gasp!) the dreaded "unfriended".

I am ashamed of my need for approval. So I signed off.

Interestingly enough, about that same time, my son-in-law turned off the television. He was watching the Republican debate. He said it was giving him anxiety. There were too many candidates.  Too much going on. Hard to discern the truth.

That is my general feeling these days.  How do we discern the truth?  The internet was a remarkable invention.  I LOVE information. The library is my favorite place. Powell's Bookstore is second.

But I'm feeling like there is too much information. My head is buzzing. My stomach is churning. People are suffering. People are dying. 

But haven't they always?  Is the world much worse now or is it that we are more aware of how "the others" on our planet live. Because of instant information.

Too much information perhaps?

But then, I argue, I WANT to be informed. I do not want to turn my back on suffering. I want to be involved. I long to make this world a better place. To leave my loving mark on it in my short visit here. 

But how?

I posted this message this morning on Facebook:

I am going to try something new. I am going to think a little more deeply, pause, breathe and edit before I post.
Back in the day, when I first discovered Facebook, I thought "How freeing to just randomly say what I am feeling!"
I learned the hard way, that this can backfire.
I would like to have meaningful conversations. Peaceful connections. Sometimes, myself included, we just spout off from the top of our heads, and then are offended by the reactions we receive.
In the real world we do not have a "like" button. Although I find myself giving the thumbs up sign to people. (Especially bus drivers. You have to have nerves of steel to be in their seats!)
We also do not have that convenient stealth "unfriend" option in the real world.
So, as of now, I am going to try and keep it real, kind and thoughtful.
Have a wonderful day my friends!

It brought me an ounce of peace.
I am going to leave it at that.

And today, I am going to just do my own work. Practice my piano for upcoming performances. Be present for my family. Be present in my teaching work.  Go to the gym.  Do laundry.

And pray for all the suffering. 

Some say we are fools for praying, that we should DO something.  

I believe that praying is doing something.  It is opening our hearts, minds and souls to greater power. And when God shows us a solution, it is up to us to take action.

We have not been able to figure out how to live peacefully and manage this planet on our own.

I believe in prayer.

But I do not believe in forcing my beliefs on anyone.  

Somewhere, somehow there is an answer. But we need to let go of our egos and embrace each other and have honest conversations to move forward. 

And I wonder if we will have to move back a few steps before progress is made.

Happy Monday.

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