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Day 194: Butter Chicken!

 

Yesterday I took the Amtrak down to Salem to teach. I hadn't been to Salem in over two weeks. It was nice to just hop on a bus and head south, looking out the window, read, pray, ponder, all the while wearing my comfy slipper socks!

I took this picture of them at home. Honey Dawg photobombed me. :)    

My slipper socks! Honey Dawg photobombing
I tried to take a picture on the bus, but the lighting was not good and I was getting strange looks from fellow passengers.

It was a lot dryer today. And warmer too. But on the way back home, the rain started back up again.  Pretty heavy rain. So it was a nice long, cozy, warm drive back home.
While I was in Salem, I walked and just enjoyed the peace. It is very quiet there.  It kind of reminds my of  "Pleasantville", except I wish the buses ran more often and covered more territory.
I stopped for lunch at my little Indian buffet restaurant on State Street. I was pleased to discover they had remodeled and changed ownership since I had last been in. They have many more dishes now including a most incredible BUTTER CHICKEN! And a new dish I have never seen in an Indian restaurant before. Zucchini Marsala. It was superb. I decide to forgo the rice and just put my butter chicken on top of the zucchini.

YUM!

This morning I am making chocolate/chocolate chip coconut flour muffins.  The kitchen smells divine. But we were out of eggs. I had some flax meal. I know for vegan cooking, you can mix flax meal and water for an egg substitute. I have never tried it on muffins. I also forget to put in baking powder. They smell good, but are not rising. It's ok, as long as they taste good. Like chocolate.

I have been craving chocolate. I know I have been craving comfort.  My heart hurts for all the suffering in this world and all the arguing and political posturing going on. While people are suffering. It hurts.  I feel helpless. But as I said before, I hope that by just living my little life, in my little corner of the world in as kind and mindful way as possible, that I can spread a little love.
At least I have not been craving carbs. Like bread, pasta, potato chips, popcorn, french fries, corn nuts! Those were my evil little friends that packed on the pounds all those years.  They were my soulmates who I turned to in the night when my spirit was wounded.

Amazingly, I can type their names and look at them and not feel any cravings. 

I must be doing something right!
But yesterday, I fell off the wagon a bit.  But I am ok about it.  This is what happened:
I did not pack a meal yesterday.  I thought perhaps the Indian buffet would keep me satisfied. I thought I had a few emergency rice cakes in case I needed a burger before I headed home. No rice cakes. And I was hungry. So I stopped at the store before heading to the train station. I was intending on getting some healthy food for the way home.
 I picked up some brown rice/gluten free crackers and cheese spread. And a cup of pomegranate seeds. That sounded like a nice snack. I also had a thermos of green tea, still hot from the morning. I should have left it at that! But I was thinking, this sounds very European. Cheese, fruit, tea and crackers.  What am I missing? Chocolate!  I was worried about time, so I just went to grab a Hershey's bar with almonds. Unfortunately I did not see dark chocolate, which is supposedly much healthier.  But I did see a bright yellow sticker that said "Buy 2, get 1 free!" 

What a deal! 

So I did!

Note to self: Plan ahead.  You know better than shopping on an empty stomach. I ate the crackers, cheese and pomegranate seeds. I drank the thermos of green tea. And I ate ALL THREE CHOCOLATE BARS!!

Arrggg!

I feel ok. I stepped on the scale and held my breath.  I did not even gain a pound.  But I am feeling the need to eat healthier today. I had nightmares last night. Mostly of terrorists. But no violence. They were sitting around calmly trying to explain to me why they do what they do. They were smiling. They were offering me food. I think it was bowls of rice and meat. And they were drinking wine.  And they were trying to convince me to join them. Thank God they had no chocolate! It was really the scariest dream I have ever had in my life.

My son-in-law made a "practice" smoked turkey last night. I had some for breakfast this morning with some beans and sliced grapefruit. This turkey! OMG!

Geesh. I hope I survive the holidays!

You know, I have a feeling I will. The addictive feeling I have had around food, especially carbs, most of my whole life has really loosened it's grip.  I really believe this blog has been instrumental in my recovery.  It makes me accountable. It makes me look at my life. It makes me be mindful each moment of my actions. 

I shall continue to blog!

However, I have decided to radically limit my time on Facebook. It is stressing me out.  

I often give up Facebook for Lent. We are approaching the season of Advent. I think I will minimize for Advent. With the intent of clearing my mind, and focusing on the real reason we celebrate this time of year.

I need to get back to real life.

Family. Friends. Prayer. Piano. Studying. Cleaning. 

AND EXERCISING!!!! 

Speaking of which, I hear my gym calling. 


Happy Thursday!


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