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Day 199: A Glimpse of Paradise

Day 199 baby!

I am going to keep this short. I am heading out to the the gym and then teach some students. There is speculation of ice and/or snow tonight, so I am going to come straight home afterwards. 

We were given a couple of ginormous zucchinis, so I am going to make stuffed zucchini for dinner. I might get some fish to go along.

I allowed myself a morning of rest. I needed to outsleep my negativity. I woke up several times really early, with racing thoughts and sore muscles.  But then I refocused on pleasant thoughts and purposely stayed in bed.

This helped alleviate the guilt of oversleeping. I PURPOSELY stayed in bed!

Then I got up and did some laundry and some bible reading and journaling. 

My plan for today is:

Gym
Lunch
Students
Grocery Store
Make a healthy dinner and eat before 7:00 p.m.
Practice piano, read and relax!

There have been more acts of violence as usual.  I am not going to turn away. I want to stay informed. I will keep praying and keep learning, but then I will refocus on more pleasant thoughts and in my own little world, do my best job and stay positive.

I stepped on the scale this morning and sighed with relief! I am back down to 188.

 Clean, conscious eating, focusing on whole foods especially vegetables, fruits, legumes, nuts, yogurt, tea, water, and low fat protein is the plan. I watched an interesting program this morning on the Dr. Oz show. They were discussing the difference between high fructose corn syrup and sugar. Apparently, they both affect the body similarly.  BADLY!

http://www.doctoroz.com/episode/sugar-wars-what-dr-sanjay-gupta-wants-you-know

I normally don't have much of a sweet tooth, but along with processed carbs, I am going to focus on reading the labels to find hidden sources of sugar.

I am not surprised that I have not been feeling so well, emotionally and physically lately. The last week or two I have been really straying. I am particularly remembering my THREE HERSHEY CHOCOLATE BAR INCIDENT last Wednesday! OY!  Or what about my RYE TOAST EVENT last Sunday? 

I am not even sure if I mentioned my CABELLA FUDGE ENCOUNTER a few days ago!

Oh, and there have been several HOT CHOCOLATE/ESPRESSO COMFORT MOMENTS from convenience stores.

When I think about my state of mind and emotions during all of these events, I was not mindful. I was feeling stressed, vulnerable and anxious.  The minute the sugary (or carby) flavor hit my mouth, I would feel much happier.  This is a drug for me.

And I need to keep this real and be accountable. 

I am not going to feel guilty or berate myself. But I am going to be aware. 

I need to avoid sugar, processed carbs and gluten. And extra salt. Sigh. 

I am actually feeling more positive though. The truth is setting me free!

And feeling free has always been a deep desire of mine. 

In this life we will probably never experience total freedom, but freedom from my own vices is a nice glimpse of paradise!

Happy Tuesday! :)

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