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Year Three, Day 47: Courtship Dance of the Blue Footed Booby

Yesterday was quite interesting!

I ended up seeing THREE men that had vanished from my life!

First, my lovely visit with "R" at my church office job.  It was a very sweet encounter.
He disclosed that he had been pondering asking me out, but was afraid I would say no because
of the age difference.  It was such a nice exchange because it felt completely authentic. I wrote down my phone number on a post-it note and told him he could text me. I also I would not say no to coffee! It was so cute how nervous he was. But I admire his nerve and forthrightness.

I, on the other hand, am quite the chicken.  My next encounter will prove it.  My face is red as I type this. Most embarrassed am I! But I am sharing this next encounter, because I believe I am growing into an emotionally semi-mature woman.

I altered my afternoon bus trip yesterday, so that I could be on "D's" bus.  I hadn't seen him in several weeks. It felt forced planning my day around his route. And a bit reminiscent of "HFKAR" from my bus romance of the past.

But I felt good. And I was having a good hair, face and body day.  And my confidence was high after the "R" encounter.

Plus, the weather was perfect!

Honestly, I am still not positive of his times on the new route. But I was fairly certain I would catch him at 2:40.  And I did.  The bus was packed. I was so happy to see him. I bounded on the bus and removed my sunglasses smiling.

"Hi, stranger!"  I grinned.

He smiled back and said, "Nice to see you!" But he looked surprised. And the energy between us felt different.  (Perhaps my own thudding heart?)

I couldn't find a seat near the front, so I went to the back of the bus and sat down. Then I started to feel self conscious.  I wanted to chat with him like we used to. But those days were when the bus was nearly empty. It would be awkward and phony for me to make my way to the front. I decided to wait until the last stop. At the Max.  I'd go up and say hi then.

It was a noisy, boisterous crowd.  I looked at him in his rear view mirror. He had his sunglasses on. He seemed to be looking at me and smiling. Or grimacing at the couple fighting in back. I wasn't sure which.

Ours was just a driver/passenger acquaintanceship. I took a deep breath and adjust my perspective. I reminded myself that I knew very little about D. I did not even know his marital status.

In a few minutes, the bus had nearly cleared out. We were approaching the last stop. I gathered my belongings and waiting to depart after the last person. I approached him as he was saying goodbye to other passengers.

I put my hand on his shoulder. Not sure why I did this. Not sure what I wanted to say. I think what I was seeking was for him to flirt with me the way he used to.  But he was pre-occupied.

"How have you been?" I asked. I think my tone of voice was odd.  He laughed, and said,
"Well, I just took my pulse this morning".  Then I realized he wasn't even looking at me!

He was bending forward and looking AROUND me. He was talking to another woman!

Most awkward! 

She was grinning ear to ear.

I was blushing and wishing I were invisible.

He asked her if she was working today.

I didn't wait to hear anymore. I did a backward wave of my palm and hurried up to the Max before he could see my red cheeks.

Then I realized the woman he was talking to was walking up the stairs slightly behind me.  Bad woman that I am, I slowed down and let her pass me so I could check her out!

She was perhaps in her 40's, a little chubby, wearing scrubs, short hair.

I scolded myself for obsessing and letting jealousy invade my being. I turned away and halted my observation.

I got on the Max. Then I chuckled to myself.  This really was quite humorous.  And I am certainly not going to keep trying to get on "D's" bus anymore!  He was a friendly, handsome guy. If I ever encounter him again, it would be pleasant to talk to him. But nothing more!

Thus having scolded myself, I went on with my day!  Most proud of self am I!!

I had a nice lunch and then I noticed that I had a message from my Starbucks app. I had earned a free drink!  So I decided to pop in and get a Venti  Unsweetened Passionfruit Iced White tea for the road.

I walked into the nearest Starbucks and heard someone calling my name.

I looked around and it was "N"!  A few weeks ago, I had met a lovely older Greek gentleman at this very Starbucks. We had a nice conversation. He offered to teach me conversational Greek. I had given him my phone number, but not heard from him.

And there he was - waving at me from his table!  "Come over, Zita!", he said with a smile.

I told him I'd be right there after I got my iced tea.

So I had my third male encounter in one day!  This one felt quite comfortable.  I didn't have much time to visit because I had to run out to a student's house. As I sat down, he admitted he had lost my phone number. So for the second time today, I wrote my number down! He also gave me his.

We chatted a bit and he told me to call him anytime. He said he likes to hike. I told him I did too! I had to run at the point, but he again offered to coach me in Greek and take me for a hike.

He also told me I was looking very nice.

Well.  It MUST be the HOOP!


After Starbucks, I hopped on the bus. I called my son's cell phone. I was getting rather nervous. I had not talked to him in nearly 5 days. Every time I tried to call, his phone went to voicemail. I had already checked Portland breaking news and all the jails.

I know.  Most paranoid mom, am I.

But this time he answered on the third ring. He sounded well. He was with his girlfriend at the bank. He had lost his phone and just found it, under the sofa. I was just glad to hear his voice. I told him I missed him and he should call his mom now and then.  He laughed and said he would. "Love you, Mom", he said as he hung up. And got on with his life.

Next, my daughter called. She was at the pharmacy at the hospital. She was getting her glucometer  and was awaiting instructions from the nurse. She needs to take her blood sugar levels four times a day to monitor her gestational diabetes.

What a day!

But I must say, it was one of my better days. Even with the disappointing bus driver encounter. It did give me much to ponder (and obsess about)!

I came to the conclusion that I was being unfair to D. After all, I enjoy male attention.  I have been known to put men I enjoy interacting on a list. My "theory of 9" that I have talked about before.  I fell victim to feeling possessive of the connection I had with "D".  Possession leads to jealousy, envy, and feelings of abandonment if the feelings are not reciprocated.  I know this. But I was momentarily taken aback yesterday.  Good thing I have my blog!

And it warms my heart to know people are out there reading this and understanding, or at least sympathizing!

What also occurred to me as I pondered attraction, is that interest makes a person (MAN in my case), more attractive.  If I can sense someone likes me, is attracted to me and interested in me, it heightens my awareness. I feel elevated. And if they are not pushy, I will discover what is interesting and attractive about them!  It is like playing the lottery. Sometimes you hit the jackpot - MUTUAL ATTRACTION!

Cha- ching!

It is like a dance really. It reminds me of funny videos I have seen about the mating dances of exotic birds.  Attraction for me is like that, but on a more cerebral level.  But wouldn't it be funny and maybe a whole heck of a lot easier, if we just got down and did a crazy courtship dance!

You HAVE to check out this Mother Nature Network article and videos: "10 Bizarre and Beautiful Bird Courtship Dances".

 My favorite is the dance of the "Blue Footed Booby!"

https://www.mnn.com/earth-matters/animals/stories/10-bizarre-beautiful-bird-courtship-dances


Anyway, male courtship aside, yesterday was a good day. And I have high hopes for today.  I had a good hoop workout. Today is Day 13- nearly 2 weeks of daily hooping! :)

But I am in this life for much more than male encounters.  I have a rich family life, a good career a deepening spiritual life and many wonderful experiences yet to come!

I am looking forward to the next chapter.

One thing for certain, I will keep on hoopin'!



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