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Year Three, Day 255: My Definition of Sanity

 10:00 a.m. Starbucks inside of Target, Mall 205

Another peaceful day. I need to post now in case this feeling of tranquillity dissolves later in the day!

 I am sitting at Starbucks, by the window. Watching the rain fall. I am sipping a Grande Blonde Soy Vanilla Latte with one pump of sugar. It is my free drink day. Lord knows I have earned it!



My hair is unwashed. I have zero makeup on. I am wearing  old sweats. But I am blissfully happy.

I am taking care of myself, so I can help others.

God told me this morning to keep MYSELF alive. I listen when the Creator of  the universe speaks directly to little old' me!

I was walking to the bus stop, praying for my family member in c.f. crisis. Feeling heavy with the weight of massive guilt on my conscience. The words of my friend from years ago flashed through my mind: "Just k keep him alive".

That's when the booming God-like voice interjected: "Keep YOURSELF alive!"

All my worrying and anxiety, shame and guilt helps no one. And does not change the past. But I can enjoy my life now. And hopefully shape the future.

Now I am going to spend some time studying, hit the gym, and then get ready for teaching and choir practice. I am still working on my online classical music course. I was thrilled to see the next few lectures are regarding Gregorian chant and the chants of Hildegard of Bingen. A woman I have lately been fascinated with.

Not to mention, I have been obsessed with monks, nuns and monasteries for most of my life. Sitting by the window, watching the rain, sipping a latte, and listen to a lecture about chants and monks...I am one happy woman!

I will talk to you a little later...

LATER (5:53 p.m.) Multnomah County Library



I am still having a good day.  I have faded a bit from my morning elation.  But still floating peacefully.  I would love another cup of a caffeinated beverage, but I fear it would keep me up. At least I have clean hair and bit of makeup now. But that hair!  It's pretty wild from all the wind and rain. Reminds me of my disco days!

I have a few minutes to blog and then I am off to choir practice. After choir, I am hopping on the Max north to spend the night at my daughter's house. I have Baby Gracie duty tomorrow. I am so looking forward to spending time with her!

I had a thought today. I have so few days where I feel so balanced.  Very much in the moment. Happy, content peaceful. I would like to have more days like these! I feel healthy too.  Awake. Not stiff and sore. No cough!

My thought was this:  The saying is that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, the same way, expecting a different result.

Well my definition of sanity is doing the same good things, over and over again because they produce positive results!

Perhaps I have achieved sanity!

I'll take it!

And now, I am off to choir practice.

I will talk to you tomorrow!

Love,

Zita


P.S. Here is today's hooping video. Day 216! I apologize for the background noise. I had my cell phone wrapped in a plastic baggy to record, but the rain made quite a racket!




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