Day 268: BREAKING FREE!!

Very stiff and sore this morning. Especially my neck and jaw.  I was probably grinding my teeth in my sleep last night.

I uninstalled a game from my Kindle first thing this morning.  It is called "Trivia Crack". I found myself becoming too competitive, angry, tense and obsessed.  I was using it in the morning to get my adrenaline fired up for the day. But it has backfired. 

I have been in this place before. Of tension and irritability. I know I will break free. But will I ever learn?

I am going to blog and check email, but try to stay off of the internet today.  Television and internet eat time.  They paralyze me.  And at 54 years of age, I don't believe I can afford to waste time.

However, I also do not need to be in a rush or stressed out.  Finding that balance, as usual.  I told my daughter today I am a strange kind of bipolar. I go from depressed to manic, to balanced within each day. She grinned at me and said, "Usually within one hour!"

:)  Love that girl. She tells it to me like it is, whether I want to hear it or not.

Speaking of my darling daughter, we went to the gym this morning. I did 23 minutes on the treadmill and a pathetic attempt at stretching on a yoga mat.

Then I came home and redeemed myself. I set out to make a breakfast fritatta, but we had no potatoes. So I scrounged in the fridge and found a small onion, some parsley, olives and jalapenos. And two chicken sausages. I chopped and sauteed it all in some olive oil and minced garlic. Then I sliced up a few corn tortillas and mixed that in. Then I whipped together six eggs and a splash of almond milk and poured it on top. Cooked until it set. Then I added some shredded cheese and melted it under the broiler. But the eggs didn't seem to be cooked all the way, so I scrambled it together.

Daughter dear said it was "the best breakfast ever!" I am redeemd from my morning grumpiness! :)

http://shop.tonychachere.com/original-creole-seasoning-325-oz-p-21713.html

Then, for good measure I put on a pot of homemade lentil soup. The house smells divine!  Lentils, garlic, onion, carrots, parsley, can of tomatoes, cumin, pepper, salt, Tony Chachere's Creole Seasoning (which I put on nearly everything), a little bit of brown sugar, pinch of tumeric and coriander.  All cooked in beef broth.

Yum! :)

Now I will do a little piano practice and go teach. I am feeling brighter.

I am going to drink more water today. And eat more fruits and vegetables. 

Tomorrow, pain or no pain, I am getting up early and going to mass and then exercise.  Seriously, I am always in some kind of pain. But the guilt and regret of not accomplishing anything or of being unkind to myself or others - that hurts more!


Today's hymn hits home. Especially verse six:

"If on earth my days he lengthen, He my weary soul will strengthen;
All my trust in Him I place.
Earthly wealth is not abiding,  like a stream away is gliding;
Safe I anchor in His grace."

This is from "All Depends on Our Possessing".
Words from Nurnberg Gesang-Buch, 1676.
Music by Johann Balthasar König, (1691-1758)

Before I practice, I am going to stretch past the pain. Even if I cry.  Today's selection for stretching, is Violin Concerto by Philip Glass. It came in at Number 248 on the Classic FM Hall of Fame for 2015.

It is certainly mirroring my mood today!

Have a listen:

I am determined to break through this cycle of despair, pain, gloom.  And it is appropriate that I am listening to a concerto by Philip GLASS.  Breaking through glass, I am!

On a serious note, I was not familiar with this composition.  I read a bit about Philip Glass on the Classic FM website.  Interesting:

"'Minimalism' is a term that's frequently bandied about when it comes to describing a particular kind of music. But in the 1970s, it was an entirely new concept, and Philip Glass was at the forefront of its definition.

Nowadays, Glass is less keen to be tied down by the m-word, preferring instead for his music to simply be described as having 'repetitive structures'. Commenting on his Violin Concerto, composed in 1987 and his first major orchestral work, Glass said, 'The search for the unique can lead to strange places. Taboos the things were not supposed to do are often more interesting.'

The repetitive nature of the piece has its detractors, but there's no doubt that this is one of the most significant instrumental concertos to have been composed in the last thirty years."

http://halloffame.classicfm.com/2015/chart/position/248/ 

I am pausing now to stretch and break through!  

I will return in a few minutes. Feel free to listen to the concerto while you wait.

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<I'm back!  It hurt. But I am determined. And I honestly feel better after about 8 minutes of intense stretching.  The one that is most effective is when I reached down and grab my ankles, while keeping my legs nearly straight. I breathe deep and on exhale, I pull my torso as close to my legs as possible. I can feel my upper back, rhomboid muscle area expand. That is where I have the most tension, besides my neck, jaw and left elbow. Sigh.

But I feel better. Something released. Then I grabbed my walked stick and put it on my shoulders and did some torso twists and stretched my arms up and behind my back.

And I am having a bowl of lentil soup. It really is divine.  

I feel almost human. I am still avoided aspirin, Tylenol, Ibuprofen, meds of any sort.  Then only thing I am using is Tiger Balm at night.  But I think I need to do these intense stretches before bed. Instead of "Trivia Crack".

Lol

Anyway, enough ranting. I feel much better and I have a new plan.

Happy Monday!  :)

Addendum:  Oh my goodness. I just read my daughter my blog post. She disappeared for a moment and came back with her hands behind her back. She said she has a book for me to borrow. 

It's called "Breaking Free" by Beth Moore. How appropriate for today's blog theme! :)   

And that is what I intend to do.

BREAK FREE! :)