Day 282: Trust and Obey

 I wrote today's blog last night, focusing on my physical self.

Then I had a profound God moment and I am changing course. I will leave my original post below.

I woke up this morning achy, tired, grumpy and queasy. It is President's Day. I know my students are home from school. I made the decision to take today off. I feel like I need time with God, my piano, my kids and me. I feel the need to work on my inner peace.

So I made some tea and set up my study at the kitchen table. Bible, journal, pen, notebook and Beth Moore's book Breaking Free.

I am so glad I took this time.  I inhaled her words.  I wrote the following in my notebook:

"I finally had to turn some of the hurts of my childhood over to God's sovereign authority because I realized they would consume me like a cancer. When at last I allowed Him to govern everything concerning my past, not only did the Prince give me His peace, He actually brought good from something horrible and unfair.  If you have not bowed the knee to God's authority over your past, something is holding you captive."(I underlined these words in my notebook)

"Peace comes in situations that are completely surrendered to the sovereign authority of Christ.  Sometimes when we finally give up trying to discover all the answers to the whys in our lives and decide to trust (I underlined these words in my notebook) a sovereign God, unexpected peace washes over us like a summer rain. We sometimes lack peace in far less strenuous circumstances because we are not as desperate or as likely to turn them over to God."
~Breaking Free, Beth Moore

I had just finished writing these words when the sun burst through the kitchen window and I felt an incredible feeling of peace. My aches faded.  I was thinking very clearly.  I started to again ponder my issues with authority my whole life.  I have long since decided it was because of my abusive father.  I had trouble saying the Lord's Prayer in church for many years because it began with "Our Father".

In the midst of my musing, my daughter came in and interrupted my thoughts. She said their pastor friend would like me to call him. He had a musical question.

I  grabbed my phone and dialed the number, curiously. He asked if I would record piano accompaniment for some hymns so they could sing along at the bible study he held at his home. He wanted me to record "Trust and Obey"

He told me how he would like it recorded, because his sermon led into it. He told me about a woman who had trouble praying to her Heavenly father because of her abusive earthly father.  I told him I had goosebumps. I read to him what I had just written in my notebook. He told me his hair was standing on end!

I do not believe this was a coincidence. God was speaking clearly to us this morning.  I am not going to dismiss this or question it.

I am making "Trust and Obey" my hymn of the day:

Trust and Obey

Words by John H. Sammis (1887)

Music by Daniel B. Towner (1887)

When we walk with the Lord
in the light of his word,
what a glory he sheds on our way!
While we do his good will,
he abides with us still,
and with all who will trust and obey.

Refrain:
Trust and obey, for there's no other way
to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.

Not a burden we bear,
not a sorrow we share,
but our toil he doth richly repay;
not a grief or a loss,
not a frown or a cross,
but is blest if we trust and obey. [Refrain]

But we never can prove
the delights of his love
until all on the altar we lay;
for the favor he shows,
for the joy he bestows,
are for them who will trust and obey. [Refrain]

Then in fellowship sweet
we will sit at his feet,
or we'll walk by his side in the way;
what he says we will do,
where he sends we will go;
never fear, only trust and obey. [Refrain]

 Here is my original post from last night, complete with puffy face picture!

10:00 p.m. February 14, 2016:
I need to step it up again. I am starting to channel a puffer fish in my face!

I admit I am living a much healthier life than I was 283 days ago.  But I still eat larger than necessary portions. And I dine out more than I really should.  I still think of food as comfort, celebration and social recreation. But I do not obsess about food like I used to.  I do not stay up late on the internet looking at recipes whilst eating a bowl of popcorn swimming in butter.

You know what? That doesn't even sound good to me!

I have noticed when I eat late at night, especially salt, I ache more in the morning. And my eyes look like one of those puffer fish!

I also have recently discovered that sugar is not my friend. In fact, my symptoms after indulging in a sugary drink or dessert are quite alarming.  Racing heart, agitated feeling, headache and pins and needles in my extremities.

Next doctor's appointment I will have them test my blood sugar levels.

I do need to drink more water. Always.

I have been gluten free, as much as humanly possible for many moons now. The next step is to try and eat only organic and non GMO foods.  My son-in-law and daughter have taken this step. I was pleasantly surprised. I have learned not to over react to these declarations from  my adult children. Remember when my son told me he wants to read with me every night? I nearly passed out with glee, but tried to keep a lid on it.

I also do not want to ever claim responsibility, boast or say "I told you so". I know how that would end!

I just smile and say supportive things. Like, "I'm with you on that!" "Oh, good!"

I am learning! :)

Since today is Monday, I would like to get back to my original plan of weights and measurements on Monday. Keep myself accountable.

So here are today's stats.  I appeared to have plateaued.  Time to increase the exercise yet again. I have been really focused on keeping up with my piano practice the last few weeks. I have several performances I am preparing for. But when I don't exercise, I am so stiff and tired.

Hopefully with my new resolve to rise earlier, I can spend some of that new found time working out!

I did find an old exercise log. I weighed in at 215 in May of 2014.  So I have made more progress than I have realized!

I imagine I was even heavier at one time. But probably too ashamed to put it in writing! 

  February 15, 2016

 Weight: 187
Neck: 14"
Chest: 41"
Waist: 36"
Hips: 44" 

Thighs: 22" 

Biceps: 15" R, 14.5" L
Ankles: 9"

Happy Monday!