I am fed up.
Need a change. Tired of talking about food, thinking about food, worrying about food!
It is just fuel, as my daughter likes to tell me.
I finally broke through today. Was feeling massively irritated yesterday after dinner at the Ram with my daughter. Don't get me wrong. Love time with my daughter. But we are ladies of leisure these days. Meeting for lunch, going for walks in the mall, getting pedicures, preparing for Baby Grace...
We laugh at ourselves. We remind each other not to get used to this time. Because soon things will change.
Fall term is just around the corner.
AND...A baby is on the way!
We are both so excited, but also cherishing our time together.
But yesterday as we walked around yet another mall, after our time in the self serve massage chairs (by the way Clackamas Town Center's massage chairs are FAR SUPERIOR to Vancouver Mall's! You only get 15 minutes for $5, a much more power motor! Just in case you needed to know...), we were very indecisive about where to have lunch.
Mall food is notoriously not healthy.
And me, with my no grain, diet and my daughter with her gestational diabetes, well, we were at a loss.
I often pack us healthy snacks, but didn't get organized in time yesterday.
So we went to happy hour at the Ram. I had a bunless burger. My daughter had the burger with the works. And we had homemade chips on the side. And unsweetened iced tea.
It was tasty, but I felt suddenly kind of grossed out. My daughter's half sister has proudly turned herself and her whole family vegan. She is posting all over Facebook.
My daughter went through a vegetarian stage as a middle schooler. I was vegan for about a year.
It felt good spiritually to not eat animal products. But I felt deprived. And hungry. All the time. I turned to carbs. And I gained weight. A lot of weight! I didn't do it right.
Now, I feel much healthier. I've lost weight. I feel strong, but slightly irritable (perhaps the heat?)
But more importantly, I don't feel great about all the meat I'm eating. It frankly feels wrong. Like gluttony. I have been cheating on my Wheat Belly, grain free program. He advises whole food, organic meat. I've been eating a lot of burgers. And the people on the Facebook group, supportive and enthusiastic as they are, keep posting pictures of their "compliant" meals. Lots of grain free baked goods, meats, cheesy creamy looking things and pizza.
Arggg...
I want to go back to just healthy. Whole foods. More fresh fruits and veggies. A bit of lean meat and fish. And decrease the dairy.
I mentioned the "Daniel Plan" to my daughter. She said, "Now you're talking. God gave us healthy food to eat."
I decided I am going to design my own eating plan. Pretty much a grain free, whole food, low dairy Daniel plan.
I had one of my anxiety ridden, sleepless nights.
Then today, I broke through!
After the bacon, eggs, sliced tomatoes, black coffee and my homemade almond meal bagel breakfast with my mom, that is.
(My mom is very food oriented. You ask her how her day was, she'll tell you what she ate. We love my mom. She is adorable.)
But I like change. I want out.
So after breakfast, I taught my mom piano. She didn't want to learn anything new. She was a rebellious student. Refused to do her scales! But I was firm, in a kind way. I told her she needed to do her scales and chords everyday. And she needed to learn something new everyday.
I even used the "no pain, no gain" mantra on her. She has been frustrated with my dad not wanting to do his exercise. I reminded her of this. I told her to tell him that "a body in motion stays in motion".
That they need to exercise their bodies, minds and spirits daily.
She sighed and played her scales. And learned a new Minuet.
I love my mom.
But after she had left, I did a happy dance. I had two hours to myself to practice on the grand piano at the church where I teach Saturday!
I sat down and started going through some music I had stuffed in my backpack. And I got inspired!
I have decided to do a little solo piano concert in November. I've done a few of these before. I make them very family friendly. Have some interactive kid activities and prizes. Lots of treats afterwards (OY, there I go talking about food again!). And I have an educational theme.My idea this time was centered around featuring some female composers. And as I played through some music, that I was not familiar with, it dawned on me. They resembled their male counterparts!
I am going to pair the female and male composers together; brother and sister, husband and wife, and composers from the same country and/or musical genre.
I even found a book of female ragtime composers.
And this music is lovely!
I feel the need to make regular performance goals, to keep my skills up. Plus my students and families tell me they love my concerts! In addition, this will be a good way to raise some money for my car, so I can get easily to and from my daughter's house when Baby Grace graces our planet with her appearance.
AND, having lost weight, I can get a cool new dress! Yay!
Not sure why I have never really explored female piano composers. It feels like something I need to work through.
My mom cautioned me about a program of all female composers. "You don't want to be too political", she said.
I understood what she was saying. I don't want this to be an angry concert, or a "Female Composers Matter" protest.
Not a protest at all. Just a musical experience. Exposure to music that has long lay dormant.
I am so excited. I've picked out most of my music. Now for some research.
This is what I have needed. A new project. For my mind and soul!
Life is more than food!
Oh, but speaking of food (again!), I realize I forgot to post my Friday stats yesterday. Hey, that is a good thing. I am becoming a tad less obsessed!
But frankly, my stats have not changed at all in a week. I'll post them when I see some change.
I like change.
And on that note, I wish you a happy HOT Saturday!
Talk to you tomorrow!
Love,
Zita
p.s. Today is Day 79 of my Daily Hooping Experiment. (This I do not tire of!)
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